The Man Who Is Eerdmans

The root of the name pertains to the brave,(1)
To the hearty adventurer in life, not a knave.
In numberless books sought the who and the why,
So very spotten (2) seeking to “get” the “Big Guy.”

Dutch farmers reveled in ten cent sales,
[Clearly a different era in publishing]
Rooted tulips brewed Calvino ale,
And books flowed in the merry-making.

Soon to abandon the reformed stronghold,
Hob-nob among the tribe of the Rat-Man,(3)
His kingdom’s room’s multiplied sevenfold,
Yeah, charismaniacs were brought to Jen-Jen.(4)

Never timid, singularly mounting the Russian front,
Awhile sipping vodka with Pitstick-A-Rebapo, (5)
Ne’er a worry about the Zwinglians he may affront,
Dogmatically would bury himself in Bartho.

An ecumenical army now putting on the ritz,
Lawrence of Hurtado(6) his Christological knight,
Klaus von Bulow" aka von Clauselschitz (7)
Bravely typesetting in the dark of night.

A gourmet savoring, Potje bij de Sluys,(8)
Among his coterie of gov’nurs and pookies,(9)
Along with a mud-slide sampled once or twice,
Theologos-sprite occasionally playing hookie.

Assembled the learned of every creed, and race,
Humbly being the Academy’s handmaiden,
And though living in a spirit of generous grace,
Leaving his minions encumbered with Festschriften.

Though befriended by Italian scholars and gentlefolk,
To the Italian Riviera to retire would make him wary,
He’d much sooner publish yet another fine book,
From Edmundo Bada Boom Bade Bing Loop De Loop De-eri.(10)

Yet fondness fills the hearts of all who know him,
As boss, colleague, president, friend, or publisher,
‘Tis a sweetness his cup is still full to the brim,
Bill Eerdmans lover of authors from Calvin to Chittister.
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--> This poem was commissioned for Bill's 85th birthday and is loaded with puns only an Eerdmans Publishing employee would understand. For what its worth, here it is.

Explanatory Notes:

1. Eerdmans as a name has a German root meaning brave man.
2. Dutch for mildly irreverent.
3. Bill’s term of endearment for Joseph Ratzinger.
4. Jenny Hoffman, assistant managing editor.
5. Bill’s nickname for author Alyssa Lyra Pitstick.
6. Author Larry Hurtado’s fond appelation.
7. Two nicknames for Klaas Wolterstorff, who oversees typesetting and production at Eerdmans.
8. Bill’s nickname for editor in chief, Jon Pott.
9. More common Bill nicknames for a number of people who work for him.
10. Edmundo Lupieri’s nickname.